My Dracula Spectacular

The Monster is finished

It took me 3 weeks to put it together but It's finally finished. The subject as you might have guessed was Bram Stokers' Dracula. The process heading up to this particular closure was interesting one which I will now guide you through. Though of course like any story I must start from the beginning...

5 weeks ago...

This is where the idea was first conceived, upon noticing a modern take on the novel set in the present day and the many inaccuracies and unforgivable artistic licence the creators took with Bram Stokers'

The unfortunate inspiration for my comic feature, upon seeing the film and the many liberties it took with both the original story and the vampiric legend it claimed to represent I realised a statement had to be made about the hideous lack of originality, creativity, or even basic respect to the original novelist. 

classic story. 

Upon seeing this atrocious film my observation of artistic licence with the vampire legend began to snowball, I began to notice it everywhere from Sesame Street, to Twilight and Mel Brooks (though the last one I'm a very big fan). What I noticed was in effect a consequence of the present day and its ridiculous need to contemporise everything. I realised that my opinion on the matter would be useless unless I could turn it into something tangible. So I set upon channeling every one of my opinions on the matter into the script that would become Bram Man's Dra Cool. 

4 weeks ago...

Well on track to creating what I think could be my comic masterpiece I continued to hone my comic material. During this period I was researching many different sources of vampiric legend.

The Original Novel

I read through the original novel noting down key plot elements and characters to ascertain the key elements of the story and any dramatic conventions that I could parody.

The Dracula Films 

This really goes without saying, it would be criminal to make a Dracula parody and not take reference from the dozens of excellent Dracula films not only for their reputation but for their iconic portrayal of the character. I watched every cinematic portrayal of the Count to date from Nosferatu (1922) to the Hugh Jackman financial disaster Van Helsing (2004). Through each of them I did as I had done with the novel and I noted every possible source of humour and character in order not to repeat modern interpretations and be absolutely certain that my portrayal would be an accurate and justifiable work that would not in any way slander the original.

The Dracula parodies

 When in Rome do as the Roman's do, I noted every source of parody and cross-referenced them to be certain that I wasn't missing a single comedic device or convention. Many of these parodies themselves I noted had very wide disparities in quality and faith to the novel, needless to say that very few of them conveyed Bram Stoker's gothic period drama or even retained the themes and names of the original novel. The most peculiar if most useless in terms of transferable narrative and comic devices was the Andy Warhol produced Blood for Dracula (1974). Allegedly a black comedy the film was obscene and took many artistic licenses with Bram Stoker's vision, to the point that the film was technically useless to my cause and was quickly abandoned from reference.

In most cases the parodies' lacking was of greater advantage than the parodies' substance as I quickly realised the lacking areas had the greatest potential for comic effect and substance. This would prove my most rewarding endeavour as it gave me a firm base on which to build my artistic vision and form a complete erudite and precise parody that would satisfy needs befitting a great work of literature.

Modern vampirism

I watched every available documentary on vampirism and the legend s surrounding Wallachian prince Vlad Dracul. Now that I had amassed a profound understanding of contemporary opinion on the character and the book I could leave no stone unturned in my search for the perfect parody. I began to research the contemporary vampiric culture (yes that includes twilight lord have mercy on me), I poured  over immaculate records of fan art from Vampiric tribute societies (yes they exist) and the character that the vampire has taken in modern society. I was both intrigued and disgusted by my findings as I found that the legend had grown beyond conventional practice to become a full blown alternative lifestyle and subculture. Where once we could readily recognise a vampire through bloodlust and weakness to sunlight we are now confused by an almost indistinguishable host of vampiric sub-groups. 

The only thing stopping me from burrowing further into this phenomena besides my immediate disgust and inability to comprehend was the fact such bizarre and unsettling information would not aid my parody but instead would change the tone and purpose completely. And so I moved away from contemporary treatment of the character toward the origins of the legend and its unprecedented persistence to the present day. 

Vampiric Folklore

A profound insight into Vampiric culture was exactly what I needed to be absolutely certain I was doing the legend and the monster justice. I gained a profound insight into the mythological practices that gave these creatures life and the real life figures who perpetuated the satanic practices expected of these monsters. 

I was especially intrigued by the satanic practices of Miss Elizabeth Bathory and the man whom the legend of Dracula is based upon Prince Vlad Dracul. 

We'll start with the vain lustful and above all else evil Hungarian queen Elizabeth Bathory and her diabolical practice of devouring young women. No she was not a cannibal it was much more barbaric and evil than that. Elizabeth Bathory was convinced that the natural process of ageing and atrophy could be negated by drinking and bathing in the blood of young virgins. This was a practice that she extended to her chambermaids, all 600 of them! Each one she brought to her chamber she tortured and humiliated before murdering them and bathing in their blood. Due to her station she could not be penalised by the law, she was placed under house arrest before her accomplices were brought to trial. With newfound confidence witnesses poured in to testify against her (sometimes 35 at a time). Bathory was never brought to trial (being of royal lineage) but was instead imprisoned for life. 

This was one of the most hideous stomach churning acts I have ever heard of, which paradoxically gave me subconscious motivation to ridicule such a hideous monstrosity and rob it of its power. I treated the deplorable yet mutually admirable legacy of Vlad the Impaler with this same willingness to tone down the evil. 

Vlad the Impaler was Bram Stoker's original source of inspiration for the Dracula character so it seemed only natural that I should research this mysterious medieval mastermind. He was a brilliant leader and military strategist who in present day Romania is reveered as a national hero. Yet his reputation as a sadistic and cruel warlord does not grant this opinion much grace or even justification. He won many great victories that kept the Ottoman Empire out of the kingdom of Wallachia, but in revenge for his years of captivity under them he left no prisoners, and those he did leave he watched impaled on wooden spikes as he ate his meals. 

The total number of his victims has been estimated in the region of 40-100,000 equal to over four centuries of European witch hunts. Before he met a grisly end in 1476 when he was assassinated. 

In summission the man was an unstoppable cold and calculating killing machine. I realised all of this very quickly and again I saw it as my unconditional duty to rob these evil myths of their power. 

My Interpretation

Once I had all of my quantifiable information it was time to convert it into a tangible product. I decided to create characters and situations that were the complete antithesis of the novel the differences of which I will mark in the following paragraphs: 

In the novel the characters are upper class members of the gentry in respectable professions (Jonathan Harker is the count's solicitor), the count is a Hungarian nobleman who buys an estate in England for the purpose of claiming new brides and expanding his estate. Renfield is a delusional psychopath who eats flies and collects various animals in even numbers so that they logically eliminate one another. Abraham Van Helsing is a Dutch Physician and a close colleague of Dr Seward and an expert on vampiric legend. And finally Dracula is a blood sucking agent of satan that is killed using only holy crosses and a stake to the heart. 

If I was to have any comedic Impact or resonance with my audience there was never any question that my interpretation would have to be a complete antithesis to the novel: 

I turned the upper class British characters into wiggers (white men who act as though they are black gangster rappers) and had them engaging in various unscrupulous activities. I turned the count from a Hungarian Nobleman to a Romanian night club owner. I completely defaced the vampiric legends of old that made the legend so powerful and turned the count into a "funkpire. 

Funkpire Funkology   

The mythology I created with this brainwave was one of a monster that was given eternal life through the draining of rhythm. In basic terms I will now guide you through the mythology of funkpireism. 

Vlad the Inhaler (the name I created for the funkpire Vlad Dracul) was a partygoer who smoked many a shisha and gave many a great party banquet for his victories over the Ottoman Empire, until one night of extreme Alcohol poisioning threatened to kill him. In his desperation he turned to a local witch doctor who perform the Super sexy funkpire Vraja which condemned him upon death to become a funkpire. 

The funkpire is a supernatural creature terrorising nightclub scenes across the globe, it feeds on the rhythm of partygoers to feed its insatiable lust for thoughtless debauchery and modern dance music. It can only be repelled with highculture, if you have the misfortune of facing one you must play every operatic recording you can find and ward it away with paintings from the renaissance and high-brow literature. 

There is only one way to kill a funkpire and that is to overwhelm his hard bass heart with high culture.

Armand Van Helsing

The iconic character of the vampire slaying physician was turned into Armand Van Helsing (parodying international house DJ Armand Van Helden) a DJ master of the macabre who specialises in funkpire funkology and deals in matters of international deck spinning. 

   

       
3 weeks ago...

Now it was time to record all of the voices and create my Dracula Spectacular. The first step on the road to comic perfection was to record the various voices and pieces for the show. This was a more time consuming process than I originally hoped it would be and would consume my entire week before I had every recording. 

2 week ago...  

Now began the monumental task of editing my Dracula spectacular. It was a haphazard process that seemed to take an age. The soundtracks and all other materials were uploads from various online websites and were instrumental in bringing my vision to life. It was a supreme exercise in creative vision, persistence and patience. But even with my firm work ethic and creative vision I was not capable of making my vision complete, the reason was very ironic and I was forced to leave it after the piece exceeded 40 minutes in length. 


  In Memoriam...
The final result was a parody that I think was written and edited extremely well. Yet I can't help but think that I could've made it funnier if I'd had just a little more time and I didn't cause the programme to exceed capacity.